A Little Ditty from Each of Us

Thoughts from Mel: This is our 14th post, and ironically we’ve been waiting for 14 months since the finalization of our homestudy. I took some time to look back and read the previous 13 posts, and WOW! We have come a long way!!! We might not yet have a baby in our arms, but we have persevered, celebrated, grown, mourned, questioned, processed, and learned some lessons we THOUGHT we knew that we were, in fact, quite far from learning.

My biggest take-away from the past 14 months? God is trustworthy. More than I could ever express, I have confidence in Him. He sees the future, the big picture, and the entire story of our lives, and it’s a good story. A REALLY good story.  It’s good because it’s His. And that story includes His long-awaited baby for us… in HIS time. I wouldn’t want anything more or anything less than the story God Himself is writing through our lives. Just because His story has not yet introduced a newborn baby doesn’t mean He doesn’t love us, or that He doesn’t care about our desires, or that He doesn’t understand what we need. He loves, cares, and understands more that we could ever imagine.  He is good, and I trust Him.

Our case worker told us from the beginning to always be honest with our friends and family about what we need and don’t need, so here goes:

• We need your prayers.  Anything God leads you to pray for us, pray it!  We appreciate them more than anything else right now.

• We need to know that you care about us.  Don’t hesitate to tell us, to ask us questions about how we’re doing, or to send an email, text, or Facebook message with words of encouragement. God has used your words of affirmation and strength to carry us through some very difficult moments, so keep ‘em coming!

• We don’t mind your questions!  Adoption is a crazy and often confusing journey, and we love to talk about ours. Yes, there are some things that are private due to confidentiality restrictions and choosing to honor birthparents and their children, but we will graciously tell you if we are unable to share certain information with you. It doesn’t bother us that you ask!

• If we laugh about parts of our adoption journey, feel free to laugh with us! There are simply some awkward moments that are flippin’ hilarious, and it’s good to see the humor in things.

• If you hear/know of someone experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, and they have voiced consideration in making an adoption plan but don’t know where to turn, YES, please tell us about it (with their permission first, of course)!  Just because we are using an agency, our case worker still highly encourages us to network and get our story out there.  They will come alongside of us in any way possible to help us form our family.

We are completely happy with our agency, Bethany Christian Services, as they have done a tremendous job serving us, encouraging us, opening up additional options for adoption that we didn’t know existed, and have proven to be an excellent group of people committed to walking with us until we find a match (and beyond!)  We have had many opportunities cross our paths in these 14 months, and although none of them have been “the one,” we know our “one” will come.  If you, or someone you know, is ever interested in hearing more about Bethany, please ask!  We have nothing but good to say about them!

There is so much more I could write, but I will stop for now.  I love you all, and I welcome your thoughts and comments on our journey.  Because of you, Baby Hendrickson is going to be one loved little person!

Thoughts from John: So, I wanted to write a blog update. I figured that Mel would give you some of the practical details, so I thought I’d just give you a glimpse into what’s been going on in my mind and heart lately. Enter at your own risk. :)

I can’t say that I have always dreamed of being a dad. It’s not that I didn’t want to be one; it just wasn’t really a dream of mine. It has always been sort of a foregone conclusion – pretty much a basic part of life, from what I’ve seen. Having to wait longer for it to take place, and having it take place in unexpected ways, has been quite the journey. I have been learning the true definition of the word “wait.”

There’s a huge difference between simply defining a word, and having to live it out. I have been learning that the real parts of life – the meaningful parts – are much more about living out certain words than simply defining the concepts behind them. I don’t mind the word “wait” when it’s just a concept. But the lived, fleshed-out version is a lot more difficult, and involves a lot more of my character, my heart, and my soul. A similar thing can be said for words like “marriage,” “sacrifice,” “discipline,” “commitment,” and “faith.” As concepts they have one meaning, but when they are lived out, they are different, they are challenging, they reveal character strengths and flaws, they remind me of the depths my own selfishness, and they force me to remain humble and teachable (or to choose to become bitter and angry).

And waiting has shown up in so many ways. We waited monthly to see if we were pregnant. We waited to see if the doctors could explain anything. The baby clothes we bought when we first began are nearly seven years old. Many of our friends, who began families after we started trying, now have multiple children, some of whom are already in their elementary school years. We waited as we chose an adoption agency; and waited to go through the home study process. And now, for the past 14 months, we have waited for the baby that God has for us. I feel like we have a “wait” problem (pun…sorry…coping mechanism).

The word “wait,” in all its complexity and difficulty, is one of the words that God has been most using to teach me. As someone who seeks to follow Jesus (“follow” is another one of those words), I have become more and more aware of how much God wants to continually transform my character. The more I follow, the more often he points out the pieces of my life that he wants to transform. He reveals the rough and dark parts of my character that he wants to chisel away and smooth out, so that I can be more of who he originally created me to be: someone who bears his image and reflects that image to the rest of creation. God is far more interested in my transformation than my happiness. He’s far more interested in developing me than placating me. He’s far more interested in listening to my questions than giving me answers. Oh, and he loves me.

As it turns out, God’s love and my waiting are intertwined. They are not mutually exclusive of one another -- they are the means by which he is transforming me (us). Having spent countless hours with friends who do have children, I have seen how God is using that experience to chisel you. And, to be honest, there are many days where I wouldn’t trade with you. :) (It’s funny sometimes how God chisels us, whether he gives us what we want or withholds it).

I guess I better wrap this up--the caffeine is wearing off, and I’m running out of steam. I just want to say thank you. Thanks for being our friends, for praying with us, and for walking with us in this journey. I can’t wait to see what God has in store. Well, actually, I guess I can. :)